Thursday 4 December 2008

Things I Should Have Done Before I Came Here, Part One

1) Apply for residency straight off. Rather naively, I thought that one could just serve their work visa time, rock up to Wellington, pay a token sum and then get residency, sweet as, bro. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work like that, and I have to get a copy of my degree, and a medical, and a letter off my boss stating that I'm not employed as a pimp, and a chest X-ray to prove that I don't (hopefully) have TB, and a police certificate, and never mind the fact that you've been paying taxes for the last seven months without actually getting the fucking right to vote, or even to live outside of Northland.

Frankly, I'm just glad I'm doing it on my tod, and, unlike the Bewildered Scouser, don't have to fork out for it five times. All I've had out of him all week is "Stevie G, Stevie G, Stevie G, perhaps I could just sell them a fucking kidney, Stevie G, aye?"

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please translate the 'doing it on my my tod' (here in US it has come to mean 'almost the cuckold of a ditzy broad), and what's the reason to 'fork out for it five times'? I think the Bewildered Scouser might be understood in the context (? an incompetent), but what's a Stevie G, Stevie G? I always heard cockney was a special dialect of the Queen's English, but this is befuddling...and, yes, a residency is a great little opportunity to start paying back the loans little by little especially if NOT married, or planning to be anytime soon!

Anonymous said...

I want your blog title, you are not using it properly, You no longer live here, and post very infrequently, so maybe it is time to pass the torch on to newer blood (pronounced: me) :)

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