Fingers crossed, I've escaped retail pharmacy...

Because I'm going to New Zealand, back to the warm soft bosom of Nice Hospital Pharmacy.

I-Hour went better than I expected, although the phone line sounded like I was talking to someone in outer space. And the lovely ladies on the end of the phone gave me a verbal offer there and then.

So, if my references reference well, and if I can figure out which buttons to press on the New Zealand immigration site, and if the correct paperwork is filled out with the correct colour pen, and if I pass the exam, and if they see that I am not wholely incompetent, then I will be Let Loose on the entire population of New Zealand.

I am quite ridiculously excited by all this now. Whee!!!!

Interview

Interview (or I-Hour, as I have been secretly calling it) is in T-25 minutes.

In preparation, I am procrastinating on Facebook and drinking tea.

Glad I'm not a nurse...

Nurses, generally, aren't really like the kind of "nurses" you find in the more...specialist section of your newsagent.

They are vastly overworked, underpaid and hugely stressed, as detailed by this fine upstanding lady who I would not want to piss off.

One day I was the only registered nurse for 18 patients for all of my shift from 0730 until 2130 hours. At 2100 my relief comes in. She has been off duty for a week and does not know the patients. She is a newish pool nurse. I need to give her a detailed report on each and every patient. She will be in charge of their care on night shift. Even if I only spend 2 minutes per patient during the report session, handover will still take 36 minutes. But two minutes per patient will not even scratch the surface in telling her everything she needs to know and handover to the day staff so they know. Three of the patients are acutely ill right now and have some really complex things going on. Most of them have relevant past medical histories that would take longer than 2 minutes to handover.

I had an admission at 2100 so I start handing over at 2115. The oncoming nurse cannot touch a patient until she gets report and knows about them. Doing that is begging for litigation. We really need to get started with this handover.

More here: http://militantmedicalnurse.blogspot.com/

Interviews

I don't interview well, which I suppose is indirectly how I ended up in the desolate wastelands of Eastern Norfolk.

I also have the phone manner and charm of a pissed-off rhinocerous with a headache.

It's not a good start for my Dream Job interview which will be conducted over the telephone on Tuesday night.

Advice handed out to me so far has consisted of

a) Be Yourself
b) For God's sake, whatever you do, don't Be Yourself


I posess all the Mad Skillz listed in the job description, so all I have to do, theoretically, is conivnce the guys on the other end of the phone of that. And that, my friends, is not going to be as easy as it sounds.

Poll results.

Diazepam is, as ever, the winner. What a surprise!

Thank you, and goodnight.

Interesting article in the PDA magazine..

http://www.the-pda.org/pdf/insight/InsightBootsPharm_1107.pdf (Scroll to the bottom, and read the article entitled "Half an hour in the Lords..."

Essentially, we are paying for a bunch of lawyers to come down on us like a ton of bricks for the earth-shattering crimes of

a) Dispensing 20mg of simvastatin instead of 40mg
b) Referring to the Council in anything other than a sycophantic "they must know best"tone.
c) Laughing in work.

Apparently, there are four new Statutory Commitees. all of which move at the speed of geological drift.

One has to wonder what would happen if an individual were to make a complaint to the society about the poor working conditions and open plan dispensary of a large multiple, let's call them Stoob. Would it be taken seriously, and would the Society come down like a ton of bricks on Stoob, or would Stoob use its money, power and influence to make the complaint go away, while they go on their merry way eroding the professionalism of pharmacy.

Thank You Croatia

For giving me the chance to watch next summer's European championship without every half-time studio "analysis" being reduced to "news" from the England camp.

For pissing off Ian Wright, the world's most inarticulate man.

For showing that the ability to actually play football is vastly more important tham passionately running around with sound and fury, signifying nothing.

For showing up Lampard and Gerrard and the rest of the Big Red Clubbers.

For making Talksport almost implode in a maelstrom of spume.

Mad Skillz...

The Welsh Pharmacist has many skills. These include

1) Staring down a half-crazed, benzodiazepine-fuelled Special Brew Special Crew nutter without crying.

2) Driving like a Special Brew Special Crew nutter.

3) Turning into an idiot when talking to attractive women (Real life example: ending up talking at some woman about tabletting the other day. She went away. They all do in the end)

4) Imaginative cursing

5) Being adored by pensioners, unless I'm stealing their pensions (Apparently, I stole someone's pension. Don't know how, or why)

6) Scaring babies and small children

However, none of these are going to help me get the job of my dreams. (Although they may come in useful if I get the job of my dreams).

I need some real skills, that I can put on a CV, and that will Look Good.

Sodding Application Forms.

The Welsh Pharmacist is considering finding gainful employment.

Unfortunately he has the writing skills of a million monkeys, and is unable to write a simple covering letter without coming across like a poorly-designed Artificial Intelligence program.

"Me want job. Me unable to articulate why."

Backwards, medieval, women hating shitpit.

What a wonderful place the state of Saudi Arabia is.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7096814.stm

Not that that would stop our beloved government laying out the red carpet for the Saudis, delightful pieces of excrement that they are.

A funny thing...

Perhaps Patel&Gush would care to explain why I have to pay my retention fee by the 19th December this year.

Last time I paid my retention fee, the deadline was the 12th January 2007.

I'm sure this has nothing at all to do with the extra interest that could be earned on several million pounds in three weeks or so. And nothing at all to do with all the money that seems to have vanished due to incompetence in the financial department.

(I assume that the money is not just kept under a mattress in Lambeth Towers, although, frankly, it wouldn't surprise me).

Where's your fucking WMDs then?

Monkey faced thicko meets real men.

Shame that your invisible man in the sky that you listen to couldn't be bothered to tell you that there were no WMDs in Iraq.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=492663&in_page_id=1811

(And yes, I do feel dirty for linking to the Daily Fascist).

Boots Watch

It is a fact that homeopathy is a con designed to extract money from the gullible, the stupid, and the desperate.

So this anecdote would not be surprising to anyone in the profession.

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Dangerous advice from Boots: a small sting.

I have been into several Boots stores, sought out the most senior pharmacist that I can find, and asked them the following question. “I have a 5 year old son who has had diarrhoea for three days now. Please can you recommend a natural remedy”. The response was interesting. In every case but one, the pharmacist reached for a copy of the Boots pamphlet on homeopathy, and thumbed through it, while desperately, but unsuccessfuly, trying to retain an air of professional authority. Then one or another homeopathic treatment from the booklet was recommended. In only one case out of six did the pharmacist even mention the right answer (GP and rehydration). One pharmacist, who turned out to have qualified in Germany, was very insistent that homeopathic treatment was inappropriate and that I should should start rehydration and take the child to the GP. The other five, including one who had an impressive-looking badge saying “consultant pharmacist”, did not even mention rehydration.

Conclusion The education of the pharmacists was clearly insufficient for them to give reliable advice. On the contrary, their advice was downright dangerous.

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I have a degree in what was mostly science, with the odd bit of communications skills toss thrown in. I've also been asked about homeopathic things by patients. My response is along the lines of "Why are you wasting your money on this crap?"


For some reason, the general public seem to think that Boots is a Good Thing. Which just goes to show that no-one ever lost money by underestimating the stupidity of the general public. As well as marketing snake-oil, Boots have also been guilty of introducing the fabulously non-confidential open-plan dispensary. This means that any member of the public can see what medicine any other patient is picking up by the simple task of sticking their head over the waist high barrier and having a nose about. Which must be great fun for the patients on certain types of medication, who would rather not have their woes shared with the whole world.

Quote above taken from the rather good Improbable Science site http://dcscience.net/?p=191, where there's a bit more about how anti-scientific Boots can be.

Rest in Peace