Things I Should Have Done Before I Came Here, Part One

1) Apply for residency straight off. Rather naively, I thought that one could just serve their work visa time, rock up to Wellington, pay a token sum and then get residency, sweet as, bro. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work like that, and I have to get a copy of my degree, and a medical, and a letter off my boss stating that I'm not employed as a pimp, and a chest X-ray to prove that I don't (hopefully) have TB, and a police certificate, and never mind the fact that you've been paying taxes for the last seven months without actually getting the fucking right to vote, or even to live outside of Northland.

Frankly, I'm just glad I'm doing it on my tod, and, unlike the Bewildered Scouser, don't have to fork out for it five times. All I've had out of him all week is "Stevie G, Stevie G, Stevie G, perhaps I could just sell them a fucking kidney, Stevie G, aye?"

Chthulu + Holmes = Awesome.

Neil Gaiman. More than just Sandman

Go and read A Study In Emerald

British National Pharmacist.

I'm a pharmacist. Or a chemist. I don't, personally, care if people address me as a chemist or not. I often introduce myself as " I'm the pharmacist, you know, like from the chemist's shop". It seems to work, and patients seem to listen. Either that, or they're intimidated by the wild-eyed unshaven Welsh bloke who can barely speak English, and who is getting far more excited by benzene rings than any man should be, and then patients are scared to say anything in case I start ranting about the scientific method. Bro.

Since I've been here, I have been conscious that I am an outsider, that I am not of this place. I don't mean that in a bad way, I love this beautiful, pristine country. It is a civilised, wonderful, curious land. A land where no-one had to threaten hunger strikes to get a television channel broadcasting in the language of the indigenous people. A place where, despite a tricky first few months, I have felt a sense of acceptance that I have never felt anywhere else.

Since I've been here, I've spoken to Maori, Tongans, Kiwis, Welsh, Scots, Irish, Americans, and a beautiful Zimbabwean nurse who had to spend six weeks in the hospital with an infectious disease. I've tried my best to treat all these people as equals, regardless of how white or Jewish they may or may not be. This is important, because this is my job, and because we're all fucking Kiwis, at the end of the day, we're not niggers, or pakis, or any of the other ugly insults used by those brain-dead vermin who would happily ship off all non-whites back to wherever the hell it is they're supposed to come from. Regardless of whether they were born here, or if their parents or grandparents were born here.

You would think that pharmacists would treat all patients (NOT CUSTOMERS) equally. It's probably in the Code of Ethics or something (not that anyone ever reads that after the first year of university). Unfortunately, membership of the BNP would seem to be incompatible with treating patients equally. The BNP is a collection of cockroaches that would quite happily deport all non-whites and Jews. It's always about the Jews. God knows why.

It should be incompatible for pharmacists, and nurses, and doctors, and social workers, and everyone else who has direct contact with patients, to be a member of the BNP. Being a member is an admission that you judge people by how white they are. This is against every single code of ethics.

There's a UK registered pharmacist on the BNP membership list. Thankfully, there's just the one. I suppose he could have a reasonable excuse-he could have joined for "research purposes", I suppose. Or he could be keeping an eye on the enemy, in the same way that I have a look at Stormfront (DO NOT LOOK AT THIS IN WORK) every now and then.

Anyway, the guy's from Birmingham. He's got the same surname as a former Nottingham Forest "pineapple on his head" striker, and the same first name as the most famous basketball player in history. Or you could just google Wikileaks, and look for the spreadsheet. It doesn't take long at all.

Click by here

Things I Miss From Back Home:Part Two.

1) Soccer Saturday, when it was too cold and wet and raining and hailing and snowing and dinosaury to go outside.

2) Barbers. Where you could get a haircut for a fiver. Reading a car magazine while waiting for your turn. Cardiff City photos on the wall. No conversation whatsoever.

3) S4C.

4) Big squeezy bottles of HP sauce.

5) Rugby internationals kicking off at 2ish in the afternoon, instead of 3ish in the morning.

He said it better than I could, part 94.

Ever get wound up by ignorant fuckwits that think that brown people can't be Kiwis?

Read this

Bunch of Cunts.

BNP membership list fell onto the internet. Hilarious.

Unfortunately, there's four in New Zealand.

Google "wikileaks", if you're curious.

And, for my readers in Aotearoa, this is what a scrum-half* is supposed to look like.

*Half-back, for those of us who speak Southern Hemisphere.

AMERICA!! FUCK YEAH!!!

Well, the good guys won. I myself am on the second bottle of cheap sparkling wine. Also, I'll now be recyling my Obama t-shirt as a car wash flannel thing. Because it's not healthy to walk around with your president's name on your chest.

Congratulations, America. I fucking love you, the third greatest country in the world. Don't fuck it up now.

Rugby League "World" Cup.

I hate to say this, but come the fuck on, Australia.

You can stick your queen up your fucking bollocks.

Life On Mars.

I would like to take time off work next week to watch the American election results. I have my bottle of bourbon all ready for celebration/drown my sorrows.

Unfortunately, the International Date Line completely pickles my head, and I am not sure what day I need off. I think I want Wednesday 5th November, New Zealand time, off work. But I am not sure. It is all very, very confusing. Universal Global Time can't happen soon enough.

Things I Miss From Norfolk: Part One.*

Watching crap football in the oldest, coldest football stand in England. It's got a blue plaque and everything. Drinking soup, escaping to the bar to get a warm, listening to lunatics convinced that this was the worst team in fifty years. It was so cold. Hardly surprising as the ground was about fifty feet from the North Sea. It was so cold.






* Not the improbably large-breasted women that all look very similar, oddly enough.

Things I Miss From Home: Part One

Best Shirt Ever!

The PDA

Should I renew my membership, or not?

I don't really mind paying a hundred quid or so to an organization that is actually useful and represents pharmacists. It's quite a novel concept, and certainly something that the quack-loving cowardly brown-nosers in Lambeth could learn from.

So, a hundred quid a year (or about 240,000,000 Kiwi dollars), paid out of some sort of sense of solidarity. Sounds like a bargain to me. I should probably pay it. Everyone should.

Targets For The Next Year.

1) Buy house. Went for a look today, found one next door to a Naturopath. I may give that one a miss. Either that, or spend all day standing outside with a megaphone calling him a twat. Then people will say "Look at the mad Irish man, bro".

2) Try and go to the South Island. Apparently they have proper cold weather, and mountains and !!TRAINS!!

3) Get Sky TV, so I can watch the Six Nations without having to rely on the rather shaky justintv.com

4) See a Kiwi bird.

5) Learn how to pronounce "Aotearoa".

6) Watch every single episode of "Six Feet Under".

Worthless, useless, lazy, money-grubbing shits.

Andrew Gush.

Andrew Gush.

Millionaire. Sold his business. Millionaire. Can't be bothered turning up to his "locums". Millionaire. No formal qualifications in accountancy. Millionaire. Utterly clueless at his job.

I, for one, will be laughing when he loses his pretend "job" as Treasurer of the RPSGB. As celebrations go, it'll be up there with the death of Thatcher. Unfortunately, he'll probably be secure financially. Shame.

This ridiculous, lazy, incompetent little man now receives 5,500 Pounds Sterling for the privilege of being lazy and incompetent
Link

Frankly, I'm disgusted by this. Andrew Gush is so far out of his depth that, if he were a dog, he'd be put down. Andrew Gush is incompetent at his job, and I suggest that he steps down quietly. The "man" is supposed to be a Treasurer, and yet his only solution to a financial problem is to raise taxes. Fantastic stuff.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, Gush, Churton, and the rest of the pseudo-science loving wasters can stick their retention tax up their fucking bollocks (if they had any). I have no interest in the RPSGB. It has done nothing, absolutely nothing for me, apart from threaten and take, take, take money to prop up a rotten system. Fuck the lot of them, the worthless pieces of shit.

One from the archives

I have a dream.

In fact, I have had many dreams. For example, the other night I had a dream that a Welsh football player actually managed to score a fucking penalty in a fucking World fucking Cup fucking qualifying match for a change. However, this is not the place to discuss such weird, perverted flights of fancy. Rather, this a place for a serious, heartfelt discussion on the leaders of our profession, why they feel the need to fuck us up at every opportunity, why exactly they need to take so much money off us, and what exactly is the purpose of Jeremy Holmes.

Go and join the PDA

Steve Churton is the President of the RPSGB. Unfortunately, he also works for Boots. When I say "works", I of course mean "is Head of Professional Practice". This is a job title that seems to incorporate the silent acceptance of homeopathy in Boots, as it's "what our customers want". In other words "PROFIT!!! PROFIT!!! LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK, BECAUSE WE ARE WORTHLESS TOOLS WHO HAVE SOLD OUR SOUL TO SATAN!". Mr. Churton seems to think that it is professional to sell homeopathy. Perhaps his brain has exploded under the strain of doing his non-job. God forbid he should ever actually see the kind of shite that Joe Pharmacist has to tolerate in the name of "PROFIT!!! PROFIT!!! LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK, BECAUSE WE ARE WORTHLESS TOOLS WHO HAVE SOLD OUR SOUL TO SATAN!". I've no idea what "work" a Head of Professional Practice does, but I suspect it consists of vast amounts of protocols, jollies, protocols, jollies, and finishing early on a Friday.

Go and join the PDA

Mr Churton has absolutely no concern for the poor bastards that have to work in the Wonderful Whacky World of Retail. This quote sums him up, I think.

“The Society, along with the Company
Chemists’ Association, the National Pharmacy
Association, the Pharmaceutical Services
Negotiating Committee and the Association of
Independent Multiple pharmacies, have recently
agreed to work collaboratively for the benefit of
community pharmacy in England - to ensure
that the opportunities contained in the White
Paper become a reality.”

That's four associations that represent employers. None of them give a shit about employees. They would happily put you out of a job tomorrow, if they could replace you with an untrained technician, or a CCTV camera. These organisations have no interest in what Joe Pharmacist wants, and I include the RPSGB in that.

Go and join the PDA

World's Most Dislikeable Sports Teams.

1) Milton Keynes Dons. A plastic, transplanted, futile abomination. I hope they go out of business.

2) England Rugby team 2001-2003. England, 2003 World Champions. The largest collection of cunts in one place since the Nuremberg trials. Mike Fucking Catt coming on at half-time and kicking the Protectors Of Virtue And Righteousness out of the game. Mike Catt, you bastard. Mike Fucking Catt. It still makes me angry.

3) Straylia cricket, and that chimp-faced arsehole Ricky Punter.

AMERICA!!! FUCK YEAH!!!

For a country that is the third greatest in the world*, the USA does seems to have a fair proportion of amazingly dense idiots. This is, after all, a country that elected Bush The Retarded once. Thankfully, they had the sense not to do it twice.

This is a story about how school governors want creationism taught in schools. Apparently, it's unfair to teach evolution. Apparently, teaching how a bearded sky fairy made humans out of mud is equally valid. There's a fantastic quote from something called Joel Fanti in that article. He has been quoted as saying "If evolution is so slow, why don't we see anything evolving now?"

In the words of the late, great, Bill Hicks, I would like to say to Mr. Fanti.

"Kill yourselves, seriously. You're the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke. "There's gonna be a joke coming..." There's no fucking joke coming, you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you are fucked and you are fucking us, kill yourselves, it's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now."

*Behind Aotearoa and Cymru, obviously.

New Poll.

Please vote. I can then use it as scientific EVIDENCE that homeopathy works.

My Fathers Can Have It.

Ah, Cardiff! Glorious, divine city, reflections glistening in neon-lit puddles. I salute you.
Click here.

Camping.

Kai Iwi Lakes. Lush beyond. No shops for miles/kilometers around. Drinking beer under starlight. Sleeping on a tree root all night. Going to bed for four hours proper kip when you get home.

More info here

Rest of the pics are on Facebook, if anyone from back home still bothers reading this.

The World's Greatest Pharmacy Job.

This is possible the best pharmacy related job ever*. Driving around the outback in the Evil Empire. With a dog. In a four wheel drive. Fixing things with wire. It's all very Australian. Personally, I think it's brilliant.


*Apart from the one involving a naked Jessica Alba. Which I think only exists inside my head.

Mildly Amusing Link Of The Day.

Click by here

Sod.

For some reason, I thought that Aotearoa was closer to the USA than Wales was. I though this would mean that I wouldn't have to stay up until silly o'clock to watch The Democratic People's Packing Republic Of Green Bay slaughter all comers, led by the steely, silken, susurration of the New Gunslinger's throwing arm.

Instead, everything kicks off at sodding seven in the morning on Monday, which is just about the time I get up to go to work.

Barack Obama had better do something about this, or I will not be buying any more t-shirts.

What makes a good doctor/ Freedom of Speech.

Read these first:Dr Rant
Ward 87




What makes a good doctor? From my point of view, anyone that can write a prescription properly will do. More seriously, there appears to be a bit of a fetish among the young, willowy house surgeons of Aotearoa to wear knee-high leather boots to work (and that's just the chaps, ha ha). The Welsh Pharmacist thoroughly approves. Even more seriously, however, I think that a good doctor, primarily, works with patients. At the end of the day, the patients are kind of important. It's sort of the point of the thing. Bad doctors go into management, probably because they can't hack dealing with patients. Patients smell of piss. Management places smell of coffee, and knocking off early on Friday. Not a difficult choice.

Which is kind of leading up to the question: Where does freedom of speech end, and where does crushing of dissent begin?

In Scotland, which is a strange and terrible place populated by Yetis and Tennant's Special Brew, a junior doctor has been suspended for the heinous, treasonous crime of referring to Dame Carol Black as a "shit". Carol Black has shown WRU levels of incompetence when it comes to fucking up medical careers. I would have thought that being called a shit would be the least of her problems.

Ms Black's mate, Elizabeth Paice, grassed up the junior doctor who called Ms Black a shit, to "Dr" Gillian Needham, the dean of the junior doctor. "Dr" Needham, being a worthless, self-righteous brown-nosing coward, then suspended the junior doctor.

Was he a threat to his patients? No

Was he behaving inappropiately towards other staff? No.

Was he stealing morphine for his own use? No.

Was he suspended for having an opinion? HELL YEAH!

Was this in contravention of Department of Health guidelines? HELL YEAH!

Is criticising those in power a crime? HELL YEAH! Is it bollocks.

The most important thing is: we live in this little thing called a "democracy". People with no power should not be suspended by some useless fucking cunt for referring to people with power as "shit". So the naughty boy called your mate a rude word? So fucking what. Grow a pair of fucking bollocks and get the fuck over it. Stop abusing your power and go and do us all a fucking favour and jump off a cliff. In this country, we can say what we damn well like, and you can fucking put up with it, you worthless cunt. If you don't like it, then just fuck away off. I suggest North Korea.

Website of the day.

Has The LHC Destroyed The Earth?

Someone should show it to the Daily Fucking Mail.

Football Update.

It's really quite depressing when the vast majority of your national football team is several years younger than you are. Anyway, a mighty 1-0 win for Cymru against Azerbaijan. I didn't stay up for it, fell asleep after watching 28 Weeks Later.

Also, Aotearoa have a World Cup pre-qualifier qualifier thing on Wednesday, against New Caledonia. I'm thinking about going to it, although it's a bit academic, as the All Whites have already vanquished the rest of the tiny islands that make up Oceania (now that the Evil Empire have decided to be Asian). We've already qualified for the play-off thingy against the Asia fifth place team, or whoever it is this time.

Worthless Quack

This is one of the many reasons why I have nothing but contempt for the RPSGB. They seem to think that some worthless,useless, magic-water believing quack is a suitable person to be president of the RPSGB.

I loathe Christine Glover with every fibre of my being. As far as I'm concerned, her and the Kaynes represent all that is bad, all that is evil, and all that is self-serving about the profession. Remember, these people think that magic water can cure disease. Christine Glover seems to think that it is ethical to offer homeopathic treatment to children. I think that lying to parents, telling them that the expensive magic water that you are ripping them off with actually does something, is completely unethical. The RPSGB seem quite happy with it. Draw your own conclusions as to the interests they are representing.

Worthless Quack

Remember, this woman sells vastly-overpriced water and pretends it can treat illness.

Fucking Muppets

Four calls so far tonight, only one of which (well, possibly two) needed my attention

1) Call from the Deliverance hospital, even further in the sticks than I am. They wanted a gentamicin dose for a patient who'd had his first dose last night. Absolutely no reason why this could not have been done in work hours. Now once, fair enough, we all make mistakes. Thing is, this was the third call in a week we've had from them about a patient we have absolutely no knowledge of.

I may write them an angry note.

2) Do we keep Twatolol injection?

It's in the fucking emergency cupboard. It's a sort of horrible snot-coloured box. Go and look for it properly.

3) One of my favourite house officers rang me up to ask

"Heeeey, bro, how do I get a 20mg dose from this 100mg tablet bro?"

"You can give the injection orally"

"Aw, truuuuue bro? You'd better not be lying to me, aye?"

Fair enough, I don't mind helping her out, as she's a nice person and a cracking doctor, but the information is all in MIMS.

4) Mifepristone for a concealed miscarriage. Fair do's, no complaints about coming in for this.

In Which My Boss Goes Insane.

We finally had our August staff meeting in work today (yes, we are a bit behind the times down here in the Colonies). Anyway, much ado was had about nothing, as per usual, and we had just approached the wrapping up stage and talking about bollocks stage...

Golden tech: "And our billets from England, they didn't know what pop was aye, bro?"

Me: "Don't be daft, everyone knows what pop is."

Golden Tech: "No, truuuuuue bro, I had to say a fizzy drink to them, aye bro?"

Me: "Nonsense, they probably didn't understand you. Hell, I don't understand you and I've been here a lot longer than they have. Besides, I'm not even from bloody England."

Boss: "Right, shut up TWP. Listen, this month, we're all supposed to be caring for each other. To accomplish this, you are all going to be assigned Care Bear characters, and at our next staff meeting, you can let us know how exactly you're cared for someone using your Care Bear character. Bewildered Scouser?"

BS: "Wor aye, Stevie G?"

Boss: "Do a Google search for Care Bears, and assign everyone a character"

Naturally, at this point, my jaw has literally hit the floor. Frankly, this is the most alien concept I have come across outside of a Lovecraft book. As team-building exercises go, it's a spectacularly bad idea.

Jaw agape, I scan the room for support. If we have to be characters from a crap kids cartoon, can't I at least become Optimus Prime. However, no support is forthcoming. The Bewildered Scouser is wise enough to keep his counsel to himself, while the fine womenfolk of Aotearoa get very excited about pretending to be a made-up character from a made-up 1980s cartoon.

God help us all.

Boss:"So TWP, what Care Bear do you want to be?"

Me: "Can I be Evil Motherfucker Sonuvvabitch Bear?

Boss: "No, you're Lovesalot Bear."

Working with a load of women sucks more than Jenna Jameson.

Weekend Humour.

I've never met Mike Eslea, of the University of Central Lancashire, but he seems like a pretty sound bloke.

Click by here

Being On Call Sucks.

I loathe the cheery ring-tone of the on-call phone with every fibre of my being. I loathe the way that I will be stuck in the equivalent of Bumfuck, Ohio, in the first fine weekend in months because of the on-call phone. I have nothing but disdain for people who are incapable of reading Patient Information Leaflets. I am pissed off with the fact that there are only three medicines that are commercially available in a liquid form.


Despite all this, it's still several thousand times better than being in the Wonderful Whacky World Of Retail.

There's a University in Central Lancashire?

No, I didn't know that either. But, according to the irrepressible David Colquhoun, there is one, and they have, thankfully, abandoned their "degree" in homeopathy

There's also a link there to a rather excellent letter from an academic member of the university. I like this quote

"It cannot be right for acupuncturists to validate acupuncture courses,
herbalists to validate herbalism courses, homeopaths to validate homeopathy courses
and so on. By that logic, we could have a degree in any moronic idea so long as there
is a National Morons Association to validate it."

Well said, Dr Eslea.

National Morons Association

Homeopathy in Work.

Now that I work in the blessed, blessed, sacred hospital environment, a place where I can have a piss without the world collapsing around my shoulders, I no longer have much contact with homeopaths in real life. Lee and Stephen Kayne are a pair of quack cunts though, A PAIR OF QUACK FUCKING CUNTS.

Unfortunately, Aotearoa is sometimes not the green and pleasant land, welcoming of poor huddled masses, a place of enlightenment, that I sometimes think it is. We have useless quack cunts like Lee and Stephen Kayne here as well.

Today in work, a doctor, a registrar, no less arrived at the hatch. Being a proper pharmacist, my first instinct was to bolt for cover, as speaking to another human being is anathema to me. Next thing you know, touching will occur, and I'll end up locked in a loveless marriage to some slack-jawed slattern from Aberflyarff. Unfortunately, however, I'd managed to briefly immobilise myself by walking into the sticky-out corner of the table with my testicles, and it was then that our sultry technician beauty, with big blue eyes you could drown in, approached, and her husky tongue was music to my ears. Steven and Lee Kayne are quacks.

"TWP, there's a doctor at the hatch. I dunno what he wants, can you see him pleeeeeassseeee?"

And she fluttered her eyelashes at me, and I was a broken man.

Ailed in both body and spirit, I dragged my aching carcass to the Satan-spawned hatch, cause of all life's problems, where the following ensued.

NZ Doc: "Heeeey, bro! One of my patient's is taking these instead of his proper medicine. Do you know anything about them, bro?"

I cast my gaze over a bunch of medicine. When I say medicine, I mean that these things are to medicine what the horse and cart is to the Pioneer probe. There's 200C, 30X and 1M all over the place, and the name of a prominent local woo-merchant on it, which I probably should have noted for later use.

Me: "Mate, look bro, this is fucking bullshit. There's zero active ingredient in any of these. He's wasting his time and money. It's just water and lactose"

NZ Doc: "Aw, sweet as bro, thanks a lot. Cheers bro, sweet as"

And then he left, and I wanted to know "Sweet as" what? But I don't think I'll ever find out.

So, this led me to wonder: "Is is ethical to offer a cancer patient false hope when "prescribing" them homeopathy?" Personally, I think that homeopaths should admit that they are offering nothing other than placebos, and not make, or imply claims that they can cure anything.

Lee and Steven Kayne are quacks.

Potato Wedges

You say kumara, I say sweet potato. I'm still not entirely sure if these are the same thing.

Anyway, when making kumara/sweet potato wedges with chili and garlic and 'erbs and lemon, it really is a good idea to switch the oven on. Don't go to check on them after thirty minutes, wonder why everything is cold and dark, and then realise you're forgotten to switch the damn thing on.

Things I Miss From Home.

1) Walkers crisps. I just spent over a pound (or three of your new-fangled New Zealand dollars) on a pack of Walkers Salt&Vinegar. And, for the love of all that is holy, it tasted so, so delicious. Kiwis need proper crisps. Or chips (not to be confused with hot chips).

2) Proper chips in chip shops with vinegar. In this green and pleasant land, the fish you get in fish and chip shops is incredible, like pure sex wrapped in a coating of crispy batter. Unfortunately, they don't know how to cook chips, and so you end up with McCains frozen garbage. And no vinegar either. I miss vinegar.

Pharmacy in the UK.

One of the comments on one of the posts below got me thinking about how pharmacy in the UK could be improved. Here's some ideas.

1) It should be illegal to sell homeopathic "medicine" in a pharmacy. You can either be a pharmacist, or a fucking woo-merchant. Not both. In other words, if you want to sell homeopathy, don't hide behind the respectability that the title "Pharmacist" gives you. Renounce it, and go and take up with the clairvoyants.

2) Do what they do down here-pharmacists aren't allowed to own more than five stores. Also, pharmacists have to own 51% of the business.*

3) For the love of Dawkins, do something with Jeremy Holmes. Put him out to seed, sack him, send him off on a fact-finding mission to Georgia, it doesn't really matter what. Why an unelected, jumped-up little arts graduate twerp has such an influence on what used to be a glorious profession is beyond me. His sole acheivement so far is producing a pathetic little monthly puff-piece about HOW WONDERFUL THE SOCIETY IS. Also, he doesn't have an opinion on homeopathy either. Mind, arts graduates are probably too thick to understand how it's a load of bollocks.

3) One pharmacist, one pharmacy. Unless it's a busy pharmacy, in which case more than one may be needed. Bollocks to this running around pretending to be doctors business. If I wanted to be a doctor, I'd have gone to medical school. If there's no pharmacist, then the pharmacy does not open. Sweet as, bro.

4) Owner's responsibility to provide adequate amounts of adequately trained staff. If this was implemented properly, Lloyd's would probably go out of existence. Hurrah!

5) Exile all the supporters of remote supervision to some remote, godforsaken, wind-blasted hellhole where they can reflect on being a bunch of backstabbing treacherous cunts. I suggest that we house them in Gorleston.

6) Send whichever dickhead came up with the bright idea of the open-plan dispensary to a gulag in Siberia. Contrary to popular belief, the job is not just about sticking labels on boxes. Sometimes, we have to use our brain, and it's not much fun having some twat yelling "THOSE AREN'T MINE", when you're trying to sort out someone else's problem.

7) No more pharmacies in supermarkets.

8) Get rid of Andrew Gush, make him apologise for being completely out of his depth, and not having the guts to admit it, and bring in someone who knows what they're doing. And make him turn up for his locum work as well.

9) Get as many pharmacists as possible to join the PDA

10) Pharmacist editor of the PJ, please. Because at the moment it seems nothing more than a propaganda rag issued from the Society.

Anyone got any more ideas?

* I'm a bit hazy on this, but I figure that as I'm not working in retail (HALLELUJAH!!) I don't have to worry about it. It's broadly correct anyway, though I'm not quite sure how it relates to The Warehouse pharmacies.

Shout Out To My Homies.

Go and waste time reading these sites, if you have some time to kill

Bad Science column from the Grauniad. Oddly, it's free of muesli-wearing, sandle-knitting, crystal-healing jiggery-pokery.

The brilliant Improbable Science by David Colquhoun of UCL. Read all about Boots "pharmacists" here.

From the Evil Empire across the water, home of the godforsaken Experimental Law Variations, comes Some Pharmacy Guy. Retail work in the Land of the Mullet appears to be as bad as in the UK.

This chap is an inspiration to me, and seems to be quite a fantastic GP. Bloody good writer, too. A Fortunate Man

Edit:Woohoo, finally worked out how to do proper linky things!!!!1!!11

BBC gets it wrong. Well, sort of.

Interesting article on the BBC website.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7563149.stm


"Chemists "under too much strain"", the headline says. Obviously, this is news reporting along the lines of "Pope: Mildly Catholic" and "Bear: Shits in Woods". What is peculiar, however, is that the BBC refers to the "profession's leaders", and yet the only people quoted are from the PDA. Perhaps naively, I was under the impression that the leaders of the Profession were supposed to be the RPSGB. They're probably too busy promoting homeopathy, or thinking of new ways to take money off the membership though. God forbid they should intervene and do anything about shithouse working conditions; fuckwit, mouth-breathing left-school-at-16 "management" cunts who keep pushing and pushing for more pointless paperwork to get done, which is never read by anyone; pointless fucking MURs, and the endless undertrained, understaffed shops used by the larger multiples. To do anything about that would require some backbone, something the RPSGB are lacking in.

If you haven't joined the PDA, go and do it now. They're actually useful.

Any Chiropractors Want To Sue Me As Well?

So, a bunch of quacks are deciding to sue Simon Singh for telling the truth. What a pathetic bunch of cowards.

Beware the spinal trap

Some practitioners claim it is a cure-all but research suggests chiropractic therapy can be lethal

• Simon Singh
• The Guardian,
• Saturday April 19 2008
• Article history

This is Chiropractic Awareness Week. So let's be aware. How about some awareness that may prevent harm and help you make truly informed choices? First, you might be surprised to know that the founder of chiropractic therapy, Daniel David Palmer, wrote that, "99% of all diseases are caused by displaced vertebrae". In the 1860s, Palmer began to develop his theory that the spine was involved in almost every illness because the spinal cord connects the brain to the rest of the body. Therefore any misalignment could cause a problem in distant parts of the body.

In fact, Palmer's first chiropractic intervention supposedly cured a man who had been profoundly deaf for 17 years. His second treatment was equally strange, because he claimed that he treated a patient with heart trouble by correcting a displaced vertebra.

You might think that modern chiropractors restrict themselves to treating back problems, but in fact they still possess some quite wacky ideas. The fundamentalists argue that they can cure anything. And even the more moderate chiropractors have ideas above their station. The British Chiropractic Association claims that their members can help treat children with colic, sleeping and feeding problems, frequent ear infections, asthma and prolonged crying, even though there is not a jot of evidence. This organisation is the respectable face of the chiropractic profession and yet it happily promotes bogus treatments.

I can confidently label these treatments as bogus because I have co-authored a book about alternative medicine with the world's first professor of complementary medicine, Edzard Ernst. He learned chiropractic techniques himself and used them as a doctor. This is when he began to see the need for some critical evaluation. Among other projects, he examined the evidence from 70 trials exploring the benefits of chiropractic therapy in conditions unrelated to the back. He found no evidence to suggest that chiropractors could treat any such conditions.

But what about chiropractic in the context of treating back problems? Manipulating the spine can cure some problems, but results are mixed. To be fair, conventional approaches, such as physiotherapy, also struggle to treat back problems with any consistency. Nevertheless, conventional therapy is still preferable because of the serious dangers associated with chiropractic.
In 2001, a systematic review of five studies revealed that roughly half of all chiropractic patients experience temporary adverse effects, such as pain, numbness, stiffness, dizziness and headaches. These are relatively minor effects, but the frequency is very high, and this has to be weighed against the limited benefit offered by chiropractors.

More worryingly, the hallmark technique of the chiropractor, known as high-velocity, low-amplitude thrust, carries much more significant risks. This involves pushing joints beyond their natural range of motion by applying a short, sharp force. Although this is a safe procedure for most patients, others can suffer dislocations and fractures.

Worse still, manipulation of the neck can damage the vertebral arteries, which supply blood to the brain. So-called vertebral dissection can ultimately cut off the blood supply, which in turn can lead to a stroke and even death. Because there is usually a delay between the vertebral dissection and the blockage of blood to the brain, the link between chiropractic and strokes went unnoticed for many years. Recently, however, it has been possible to identify cases where spinal manipulation has certainly been the cause of vertebral dissection.

Laurie Mathiason was a 20-year-old Canadian waitress who visited a chiropractor 21 times between 1997 and 1998 to relieve her low-back pain. On her penultimate visit she complained of stiffness in her neck. That evening she began dropping plates at the restaurant, so she returned to the chiropractor. As the chiropractor manipulated her neck, Mathiason began to cry, her eyes started to roll, she foamed at the mouth and her body began to convulse. She was rushed to hospital, slipped into a coma and died three days later. At the inquest, the coroner declared: "Laurie died of a ruptured vertebral artery, which occurred in association with a chiropractic manipulation of the neck."

This case is not unique. In Canada alone there have been several other women who have died after receiving chiropractic therapy, and Professor Ernst has identified about 700 cases of serious complications among the medical literature. This should be a major concern for health officials, particularly as under-reporting will mean that the actual number of cases is much higher.

Bearing all of this in mind, I will leave you with one message for Chiropractic Awareness Week - if spinal manipulation were a drug with such serious adverse effects and so little demonstrable benefit, then it would almost certainly have been taken off the market.


• Simon Singh is the co-author of Trick or Treatment? Alternative Medicine on Trial

www.simonsingh.net

About this article
This article appeared in the Guardian on Saturday April 19 2008 on p26 of the Comment & debate section. It was last updated at 00:06 on April 19 2008.

Poll Results.

Looks like I'm off to Pitcairn Island then.

Anyone ever been?

Favre.

There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said, really. I feel, not so much betrayed, as disappointed. Had he not decided to play silly buggers, I'd have had him back like a shot. As it is, I feel that a shining legacy has been tarnished. It's not going to do the Packers any good.

I'm glad Favre has finally gone, and I wish him and the Jets* all the best. But he could have handled it a lot better.


* I do hope that George R R Martin doesn't get so excited about Favre's arrival that he promptly has a heart attack, and never finishes Song of Ice and Fire. Although having it unfinished may well be preferable to the abortion that was the final three volumes of the Dark Tower.

Also, is it normal to support both the Giants and the Jets?

Give Me A Pre-Reg, And I Will Show You The Pharmacist.

I'm slightly worried that I may be turning into my pre-reg tutor bloke. He used to say to me

"TWP, the phone creates problems. Your job as a pharmacist will be to solve problems. Now go and answer the phone all the time."

I hated answering the phone. But, by Io, he was correct. And now, I find myself saying the exact same thing to the new guys in work. And I photocopy useless bits of crap, and leave them in other peoples trays.

I miss Norfolk, and the Long Bar, and getting pissed in the Ocean Rooms, and playing far, far, far too much Pro Evo.

I Travel 13,000 Miles To Have The Exact Same Conversation That I Could Have In The Albany.*

"...and if you take this tablet every morning, you will be irresistable to women, and have the ability to shoot lasers from your eyes. Any questions"

"No, mate, that about covers everything. Are you Irish?"

"No, Welsh"

"Ahh, Barry John..."

Which set up a ten minute conversation about the 1971 Lions, Gareth Edwards, Andy Bastard Haden, the shambles of the 2005 Lions tour, how much the modern tri-nations sucks, how much playing New Zealand every year sucks, how much better old-fashioned tours were, and just how damn fine Christian Cullen was.

Which leads me to the conclusion that Kiwis are Just Like Us, except we speak funny.

*Except we would be talking about Welsh rugby in The Albany. And getting pissed.

Boots:Useless, Bilge-Filled, Anti-Science Fuckers Concerned Only With Ripping You Off. Stick Your Advantage Card Up Your Bollocks.

"We don't believe in science. Your opinion is important to us."

And as for that fuckwit pharmacist referred to in the post below, she's not fucking fit to hold her license to practise*. Of course, the beloved president of the RPSGB works for Boots. He doesn't appear to have an opinion on homeopathy. Probably because Boots haven't told him what to think about it.

Read this and weep for what the "profession" has become.

http://majikthyse.wordpress.com/2008/08/11/these-boots-were-made-for-walking/


*I know, I know, sample size of n=1, there's no proof this actually happened. Boots are still evil fuckers though.

Three Month Appraisal Thingy.

BOSS:"Well, look, you've been here for a bit now. Let's just go into my lair, sorry, office, for a little chat. How do you think you're getting on?"

ME:"Yeah, not bad. Let's face it, I almost quit after three weeks, so yeah, it's got a lot better."

BOSS:"Excellent! How do you feel about setting up and running a proper Medicines Information service, becoming our paediatric pharmacist blokey, doing our Cardiac Club talk every month, rewriting our gentamicin calculations, getting aseptically trained, and dealing with all our HEC* enquiries?"

ME:"Fucking hell, I should have opted for mental health when I had the chance. Am I going to see any extra money for this?"

BOSS:"HAHAHAHAHAHA"

*HEC= Hospital Exceptional Circumstances. Where we have to lie, sorry, fabricate, sorry, bend the truth to try and get a drug funded that is not normally funded. Filling in one of these forms is kind of like doing a tax return, in terms of creative accounting.

Plagiarism

The quote below is copied verbatim from one of the comments left here. It sums up homeopaths perfectly as vermin not worth pissing on if they were on fire. Anonymous commenter, I salute you!

It's called GREED - the more one has, the more one wants - forever chasing, because others always appear to have more - some will never be satified and will use any means to get more and more apparent wealth and become more and more unhappy. Move away from them and let them rot in their own immoraility of using false assumptions, frightened people, and an orgy of false science. Such greedy people are not worth wiping shoes on - they are parsites living on sad, often lonely people. Leave those greedy people alone to rot, otrherwise they will drag you into their perverted web of money. Like the religions - they have set themselves up as 'knowing' of course NO PROOF - such people are best left on the outside of civilisation.

PJ Online.

They don't seem exactly happy about the fact that a former president of the RPSGB has sold 200C homeopathic "remedies" from her website. So unhappy, in fact, that I was asked to remove my post referring to it. Even though I was assured that it was not libellous. Odd, that.

Day off work tomorrow!

Woohoo!!

Well, not really. Instead of going to do real work I've got my Treaty of Waitangi training day. I have embraced the Maori language enthusiastically thus far, albeit with limited success. Although, from what I can gather, the letter R appears to be pronounced similarly to RH in "Rhys". The problem is, there is no actual written Maori language, it's just been represented in English, which I think is fascinating. Anyway, it should be a really interesting day.

Most of the people I work with cannot understand how I can be so excited about learning about the Treaty, but then it's all relatively new to me. I went up the Treaty grounds the other week, and saw the marae, and the Treaty House, and the beach, and it was gorgeous, and I love it.

Being On Call Sucks.

Life on call would be so much easier if people actually read the Patient Information Leaflets.

I missed Tony Woodcock's tries because of this.

Cymru am Byth!

It is a long established FACT!!!! that the Welsh School of Pharmacy is the best in the UK, consistently producing graduates with an indepth knowledge of basic scientific principles, a strong research ethic, and the ability to drink for thirteen hours straight in the Park Vaults on international days. God, I miss the Park Vaults.

Anyway, there appears to be a new Professor of Pharmacology there by the name of Gary Baxter. Never met the chap, so I assume he hasn't been there more than a couple of years. Even though I haven't met him, he appears to be a thoroughly good chap. This is why.

"As a pharmacist, I am embarrassed by the attitude of the Royal Pharmaceutical Society to complementary and alternative medicines — and to homoeopathy particularly — where the scientific evidence base clearly points to no benefit greater than placebo.

Edzard Ernst (PJ, 19 July 2008, p69) has provided a great service in highlighting the disingenuous stance of the Society in not making a clear denunciation of the supply by pharmacists of unproven therapies, which includes nearly the entire CAM repertory.

David Colquhoun is the author of the science blog dcscience.net, which I commend to all your readers. He describes, with embarrassing detail, in a written transcript “Royal Pharmaceutical Society defends quackery”, his encounters with the Society in trying to get a clear statement from the former director of practice and quality improvement David Pruce. Mr Pruce’s response was waffling and non-committal and I can only hope that he brings more clarity of thinking to bear in his new position at the Society.

I cannot emphasise strongly enough that the reputation of the profession as a reliable and trustworthy source of information on drugs and their use is at great risk. I believe that the Society’s attitude in not providing clear and unequivocal leadership on this issue says little for it as a responsible professional leader and guardian of the public good. "

(Bolding is mine).

I absolutely agree with him entirely. The attitude of the Society on this matter is absolutely shocking. Borderline criminal, you could say. They're an embarrassment, and the only reason I'm associated with them is because I have to be.

LINK (again):http://www.pjonline.com/forum/alternative_medicine

Further Evidence That Fellowships Are Directly Correlated To Fuckwittery!

Steven Kayne is a Fellow of the RPSGB. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he is also a homeopath. Bizarrely, he appears proud of the fact.

This ridiculous little man, who I have nothing but contempt for, has written on the PJ forums (fora?) that historical case reports provide "support for the administration of homoeopathy in a wide range of conditions". You could say that historical case reports provide support for trying people as witches. Anyway, the magical, mouth-breathing vermin and con-artists that believe in homeopathy are out in full force on the PJ forums (fora) with what appears to be the tacit approval of the RPSGB.

What a waste of money.

Forum LINK: http://www.pjonline.com/forum/alternative_medicine

Ridiculous Little Man Fellowship LINK: http://www.rpsgblist.org/membership.asp?mem=&sur=Kayne&for=&action=Search

How Fucking Stupid Do Homeopaths Think We Are?

Christine Glover is, somehow, a prominent pharmacist. She is also a homeopath. She has sold 200C homeopathic "tablets" from her website.



A 1C tablet is 1 part in 100


A 2C tablet is 1 part in 10,000


A 3C tablet is 1 part in 1,000,000


A 4C tablet is 1 part in 100,000,000



And so on. We could be here all night, and I could wear out my typing finger. Basically, a 200C tablet has one part of active ingredient in 1x10^400 parts of lactose, or water, or alcohol, or whatever.



So a 200C tablet is 1 part in 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,

000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,

000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,

000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,

000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000





Roughly. I think.

In other words, this is roughly equivalent to 0.1ml in a sphere with a diameter 50,000 times larger than the distance from the Sun to Pluto* ( I still refuse to accept that Pluto is not a planet). The chance of getting a molecule of active ingredient in one of Ms Glover's 200C "solutions" is approximately the same as the chance of me having a threesome with Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie.



Christine Glover's site seems to have magically disappeared. However, thanks to the magic of the interweb, you can see her 200C "remedies" here. http://web.archive.org/web/20070625133505/http://www.glovers-health.co.uk/

I'm fairly sure I'm not stupid. I'm pretty sure that a 200C "remedy" contains zero active ingredient. Yet Christine Glover can't be stupid. Impossible. She is, after all, a Former President of the RPSGB. The layman could be fooled into thinking that this is a position that requires some scientific knowledge. She is also selling veterinary products, so I assume that she has some qualification in vetting. It would surely be unethical to do so otherwise. She is also a Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine. Very prestigious. Of course, as we all know, the number of Fellowships you have is directly related to your academic excellence, and has nothing whatsoever to do with brown-nosing or backstabbing the right people at the right time.

*Thanks to the Randi website for sorting that out!

Mouth-breathing believers

I'm rather disgusted that I have to share the letters after my name with the kind of idiots writing here.http://www.pjonline.com/forum/alternative_medicine#comment-168

Bear in mind that all these people went to university and studied three or four years of science that could be fairly tricky on occasion.

Sample comment: "However you cannot throw 200 years of knowledge and literature out of the window just because modern testing techniques do not work. I am a believer in God but can anyone prove his existence? "

Exactly.

(You may have to register to view the above site. Frankly, it's not worth it.)

Merry Christmas.

Volunteered to do the Christmas on-call week this week. ( I don't mean I did it this week). Naturally, I had ulterior motives, such as not working the Six Nations next spring, or autumn, depending where you are. Also, everyone else who can do it has kids or is married.

As a bonus, I get our Golden Tech for a couple of hours to help me out as well. Screw the pharmacists, the dispensary could not function without this wonderful lady. Worth her weight in gold and precious jewels and sweet, sweet Brains.

Bugger, I've got to agree with The Grauniad.

The newspaper associated with the muesli-knitting sandle-eaters has SLAMMED homeopathy in a SENSATIONAL BLAST that will send SHOCKWAVES throughout the RPSGB.

NO-NONSENSE Professor Edzard Ernst, of CRACK OUTFIT Peninsula Medical School, FIRED A BROADSIDE stating"My plea is simply for honesty. Let people buy what they want, but tell them the truth about what they are buying. These treatments are biologically implausible and the clinical tests have shown they don't do anything at all in human beings. The argument that this information is not relevant or important for customers is quite simply ridiculous," he says. "If they are unable to stick to their ethical code, then they should change their code and be clear that it is alright to put profits before patients."

BIGWIGS at Boots HIT BACK, CLAIMING that "Homeopathy is recognised by the NHS and many health professionals and our customers choose to use homeopathy. Boots is committed to providing our customers with a wide range of healthcare products to suit their individual needs, we know that many people believe in the benefits of complementary medicines and we aim to offer the products we know our customers want. Our pharmacists are trained healthcare professionals who provide professional advice within guidance issued by the Royal Pharmaceutical Society of Great Britain regarding the supply of homeopathic products."

However, TheWelshPharmacist UNDERSTANDS that FORMER HOT-SHOT president of the RPSGB, Christine Glover is a practising homeopath. This DRAMATIC DEVELOPMENT has to call into question the COMMITMENT of the RPSGB to the practice and promotion of science. INTRIGUINGLY, and IRONICALLY, the current president of the BELEAGUERED RPSGB also PLYS HIS TRADE for Boots.

How will the RPSGB react to this BOMBSHELL?



(Anyone thoroughly confused by the above should go and read a week's worth of the Western Mail's rugby "coverage")

Grauniad:http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/jul/21/pharmacists.homeophathy

Who's Gareth Malson?

Disclaimer: Polls are a bunch of nonsense, enabling stupid people to have an opinion.

There's a new poll on the new (crap) PJ site, asking "Is it ethical to sell homoeopathic or other remedies that have no evidence base to support their effectiveness". Unfortunately, you have to register to vote. However, there is no restriction on who can vote, and no check of identity. So we have the situation where someone is purporting to be Gareth Malson, Staff Editor of the PJ, and Other Pharmacist. The Journal should urgently address this issue. There is absolutely no way that a pharmacist involved with the weekly trade magazine can think it is right to sell homeopathy. Clearly, Mr. Malson has had his identity stolen. This can be the only solution. After all, we have had firm and decisive opinions on homeopathy from the Society. Firmness and decisiveness are practically the Society's middle names. I am sure that the real Mr. Malson does not think that it is ethical to sell remedies that have no evidence base. This is contrary to everything he was taught at university. There must be some mistake.

LINKS:Poll:
http://www.pjonline.com/poll/is_it_ethical_to_sell_homoeopathic_or_other_remedies_that_have_no_evidence_base_to_support_thei

http://www.pjonline.com/node/23207/votes?page=1

http://www.pjonline.com/users/gmalson

My Holiday Poll.

Seriously, I'm not going to the fucking Rhondda. That's the comedy diazepam option.

What's My Name?

When I'm in work, I quite often make a complete and utter fucking hash of Maori names. Not out of any kind of malice, or because I can't be bothered to learn how to pronounce them*, it's just because it's tricky to let your head round if you haven't been brought up amongst it. This culminated today in a nurse making me say the same three syllables of some chap's name over and over again until I got it right. Then I thrust my ID card in her face and screamed at her "Ha!! HOW DO YOU SAY MY NAME THEN BITCH!!!11**". She recoiled like a vampire faced with garlic, or a Rhondda girl faced with a bath.

Anyway, I'm settling in a bit better now, have got to know the nurses a bit better (except for the ones that prefer nights, get on with the physios, OTs, social workers [from Porth, you can tell by the hump]. Also, I'm enjoying the company of the house surgeons I see regularly. Even the guy from Surrey, who is still speaking to me after I launched into my "Fucking Slurry, get half the bloody English team picked from there while Maynard and Morris and James get ignored***" rant.

The thing is, I'm living in a foreign country where Welsh is, if not unheard of, at least not a common thing. I have been saddled with a fucking ridiculous/awesome Welsh name, unfortunately most of the time when I'm on the phone to GPs I tend to refer to myself by my surname, as it's a damn sight easier to comprehend. So, I get my house officers, and nurses yelling at me with the anglicised form of my name, which I have never introduced myself with, but I have been answering to, just because it's easier. It's got to the stage now where it's too awkward to say "Er, actually, that's not my name."So I shall just keep ignoring it.

Imagine the possible consequences though, I could end up getting married to someone who doesn't know what my name is, because I was too polite to correct them.

*"They were all speaking English before I entered the pub, and then they started speaking Welsh"

"Have you got fucking X-ray ears or something?"

Unsurprisingly, this exchange occurred in Norfolk.

** This didn't really happen. Well, apart from the recoiling bit, but that's probably because I haven't shaved for two weeks. I never go out of my way to piss nurses off, you never know when you may need a catheter inserted...

*** You can't deny that Glamorgan have been shafted by the Wales&England selectors over the years, even if this rant is a little bit 1997.

Great Minds Think Alike.

Couple of interesting points in the letters pages of The Journal this week. Firstly, some drone from Asda, who makes no apologies for referring to patients as customers. If I ever meet him, I intend to make no apology for calling him a tool.

Secondly, and much more importantly Professor Ernst has written a letter calling for "the Society to take urgent action so that its ethical standards are adhered to". This is with regards to homeopathy, and the fact that it is worthless at best, and dangerous at worst. Good luck with that, Professor Ernst, although I've never known the Society to take urgent action on anything. Apart from ripping off pharmacists for all the cash they can get!

LINKO: http://www.pjonline.com/fileproxy/467

My Biggest Regret Of The Last Ten Years.

Is that this was never built upon.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_19980822/ai_n14164710

Hindsight is easy, but I reckon we would have been in a far far better position now had a proper British/Anglo-Welsh league taken off then.

(It's not really my biggest regret, that would be along the lines of "If only I had the bollocks to go and talk to her...").

Irate responses from Valley Commandos are welcome.

Same old, same old...

Dear Minion,

Thank you for your recent email, which I understand, was also sent to our offices in Cardiff and Edinburgh .

I understand that you have recently contacted the Legal and Ethical Advisory Service of the Society regarding this issue and I would refer you to their responses.

Regards
Chief Exec and Registrar

The offices in Cardiff and Edinburgh haven't replied with anything more than an "out of office" message yet. Odd, that.

My response.

Thanks for your response.

The point is, the response from the Law and Ethics Service was less than satisfactory, consisting as it did of a wilful refusal to weigh up scientific evidence, assess the scientific evidence, and come to a scientific conclusion. Instead, I received a "homeopathy factsheet" that was not worth the paper it was written on. Why does the RPSGB refuse to accept the fact that homeopathy is no better than placebo?

Do you have a personal opinion on homeopathy?

Choose my next holiday!

Ignore the fact that I'm sort of on a big holiday anyway. There is a poll going up, and the most popular destination will be where I drag my sorry ass to next. When I finally earn some holiday.

Update.

So, I seem to have been blackballed by the Law and Ethics department, the Scottish departmant, the General Enquiries department, and Jeremy " I rote about a buk, it was gud. Somehow, I got a degree in it" Holmes. It's probably a bit too much to expect the latter to come out with any kind of informed opinion though*. If anyone else fancies asking them for an opinion on homeopathy, go ahead.

*Arts graduates. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.**

** The honourable exceptions will know who they are.

What The Hell Is This Thing You Call Science?

Taken from the RPSGB website

"One of the Charter objects of the Society is to maintain and develop the science and practice of pharmacy in its contribution to the health and well-being of the public."

This is the response I got from science@rpsgb.org

Hi, Extremely Annoying Person.

Unfortunately I am unable to help you as we organise conferences in this department.

I will forward your email on to see if anyone else can assist you with your question.

Kind regards

Somehow, I'm not surprised.

Give it a rest, will you...

Dear Sir/Madam

Recently, I have been engaged in a correspondence with the Law and Ethics division of the RPSGB. Their refusal to answer a simple question is quite worrying, really. The question is

"Does the RPSGB think that homeopathy is an effective treatment"?

Perhaps you could let me know the thoughts of the RPSGB on this.

Yours.

Dai Harder.

I really should find a new hobby, but it's such an easy target. Anyway, the above email was sent to the Welsh, Scottish, General Enquiries, Jeremy Holmes, Head of Policy Development, and the Science departments of the RPSGB. I await their reply with interest. My predictions:

WELSH: Thank you for your email, blah blah blah blah, meaningless fucking guff.

SCOTTISH: As above.

GENERAL ENQUIRIES: Hey, why don't you look at our fantastic homeopathic fact sheet that's out fo date and written by a practicing homeopath!

JEREMY: What the hell is this science crap? What the hell am I doing here? I don't understand any of this? I know, let's produce a meaningless glossy insert reminiscent of Pravda. That will fix everything.

SCIENCE: It's a load of shite no better than placebo. *


* Unfortunately, I don't really think this will be the response.

Committee Co-Ordinator.

So, what's a committee co-ordinator then? I reckon it's someone who sorts out tea and biscuits. Whatever it is, the RPSGB seem to need one. Well, actually, more than one.


"The post holder will work closely with the Statutory Committees Manager, Senior Committee Coordinator
and three Committee Co-ordinators."

Anyone got any ideas what they all do? Me neither, having five different people to decide what type of choccy hobnobs to have seems a bit excessive.

LINK:http://www.rpsgb.org.uk/pdfs/vccad080707.pdf

Also, does anyone else associate the word "Secretariat" with the USSR, or is it just me?


"The successful candidate will have experience of compliance with legal procedures and working
within protocols"

Yay, protocols. They're all well and good, but there seems to be a certain type of individual who absolutely, positively loves protocols! For this type of person, there is never enough protocol. Protocols are the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, their raison d'etre, their justification for existence. God forbid you should go against the protocol. People like this tend not to be too bright, and absolutely, positively delight in not doing things "because the protocol says so".

They probably all work in New Zealand Immigration.

Nationalities That I Have Been Mistaken For Since I Got Here, Part Two

5) Australian. It's possibly not the wisest idea to wear a Waratahs top out in Auckland on a Saturday night. A bit like wearing a t-shirt saying "I LOVE HITLER!!" in Israel in 1948.

6) Dutch. I have no idea about this one, no idea at all. I've never even been to Dutchland. Still, I suppose it's better than being mistaken for a Boer.

Assess Evidence? Come To a Definite Conclusion? Sod That!

Thank you again for your further email on this topic.

You have asked whether the “RPSGB think[s] that homeopathy is an effective treatment?”. As you will be aware from our previous correspondence the Society has set out clear professional standards for the sale/supply of complementary therapies. My colleagues and I have advised you of these requirements.

In terms of whether any product is an “effective treatment” I will not be able to assist. As you are likely to be aware the Legal and Ethical Advisory Service provides assistance on matters relating to pharmacy legislation and the Code of Ethics. As I have outlined above you have been referred to the relevant sections of the Code of Ethics and its supporting documents. The Advisory Service does not comment on the effectiveness of medicines.

I do not propose to comment further on this specific matter.

Perhaps I should give it a break, but, fuck it, I'm paying 400 quid* a year for this, so I may as well keep banging away.

My reply.

I appreciate your reply.

Could you please tell me if there is a department, or even an individual, within the RPSGB that would be able to provide a definite answer on whether or not homeopathy is an effective treatment? If I was to make a complaint against a pharmacist because he or she was selling homeopathy, would it be further investigated by yourself, or not?

In the meantime, the Code of Ethics has once again baffled me!

Section 2.4 states that when supplying an OTC medicine I must supply
"sufficient advice to ensure the
safe and effective use of the medicine is provided." Note the use of the word effective.

Yet, with regards to homeopathy, section 8.3 states that I should
"recommend a remedy only where you can be satisfied of its
safety and quality," Note the complete absence of the word "effective".

Good thing homeopathy is not yet an OTC medicine!

Why the double standards?

I'd appreciate it if you could direct me to someone within the RPSGB who could give a definite answer on whether homeopathy is an effective treatment.

Being on call sucks, I end up getting angry about stuff like this instead of doing something interesting.

*I don't know where the pound sign is on a Colonial keyboard.

"The Scientist In The High Street"

It's a load of bollocks really. Perhaps I've been working in the wrong shops, but I for one have never had the joy of an experimental cobweb filled dungeon filled with bubbling flasks of wrong-coloured stuff, time machines, or some bloke made out of bits attached to a table with a bolt through his neck, only to be brought to life by lightening.

Pharmaceutical Journal

The website's had a revamp. I'm sure this will not turn out to be a money-wasting rebranding exercise. Anyway, go and have a look while they've still got a poor chap who bears a resemblance to an extra from Dawn of the Dead on there.

Edit: Oh do fuck off, there's a massive great flashing advert from Boots the Homeopaths there as well. Hurrah!

Bradman

Just to show how incredible he was, look at the little dot in the far right hand side of this picture. Ignore the one-day crap. He was better than Viv, Sobers, Tendulkar, that twat Ponting

http://gangusinternet.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/98/987a5df0a92f24c6fc12adaf81cd3a3d5d8001f1.gif

Unbelievable.

The Sweet Sweet Stench of Hypocrisy,

Rhys's father, and my other three regular readers, will be well aware that I consider homeopaths to be idiots. Clever idiots, in the sense that they can convince other idiots to take their idiotic lactose pills. If only all the idiots would wipe each other out.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not a complete idiot (except when it comes to women, heh heh). Unfortunately it seem that my governing body is. Yes, reader, I'm shocked as well. I was thinking the RPSGB was just a harmless body with the sole purpose of screwing as much money out of you as possible. Not so! It seems that they are quite happy to condone the promotion of homeopathy (remember, a practise run by idiots, for idiots). Go on, contact the RPSGB. They will not have the guts to say that homeopathy is useless. This must be because they are staffed by a bunch of idiots, I suppose. No scientist worth his salt would treat homeopathy as anything but a gullible fool's trick. Maybe I'm wrong, but after having looked at the weasel words I have received from the RPSGB, and their constant refusal to present any evidence for homeopathy, I doubt it.

Anyway, hypocrisy. Apparently, there's a new pill called Obecalp (Oh, the wit of marketing men!) which apparently may go on sale on the UK soon. The RPSGB are most unhappy about it. They have wheeled out their chief scientist to say "Mate, this is a shithouse idea, and gives everyone the idea that if you're ill you need a pill. And it will just encourage more overmedication of kids" (This is paraphrased).

I agree with her entirely. I just wonder why the RPSGB are so vocal that the idea of a placebo that advertises itself as a placebo is a Bad Thing, and yet they are utterly silent when it comes to claims that lactose pills cure anything from bed-wetting to cancer.

Link to Obecalp story (Page 4): http://www.pjonline.com/pdf/_donotindex/pj_20080621_news.pdf

Link to Former RPSGB president, and Homeopath: http://www.glovers-health.co.uk/

Nationalities That I Have Been Mistaken For Since I Got Here.

1) English. No, I'm not bloody English, or if I am, then you're a bloody Aussie. How do you like them apples.

2) Scottish, by a rather attractive student nurse. After giving her a brief history lesson on the constituent parts of the United Kingdom, she hasn't spoken to me again. Strange, that.

3) Irish, because they get everywhere, rather like cockroaches, or when you go to the beach and find sand in your carpet for weeks after.

4) South Islander. Arguably not technically a nationality, but this was due to the fact that I'm wandering around in shorts in the rain in the middle of "winter".

Piss Off And Stop Bothering Us!

Thank you for your further email on this topic.

I refer you to our previous correspondence on this issue in which my colleagues and I have highlighted to you the relevant parts of the Code of Ethics that relate to complimentary medicines and their sale/supply from registered pharmacies. In previous correspondence we have also expanded on, and explained, these requirements in which we have addressed your question regarding efficacy in relation to professional standards (see emails below dated 12th and 19th June 2008).

We have also referred you to an information sheet commissioned by the Science Committee of the Society.

Sincerely yours,

The RPSGB

Sometimes, It Is Just About Counting Tablets.

Stocktake, they said.

Turn up in mufti, they said. So I did, and proceeded to count tablets all day. Literally. It was worse than being back in the ghetto. Well, almost.

Interestingly, Plaquenil tablets are a different shape in the Colonies. Quite similar to a dog biscuit, I suppose

Garlic.

At least ten, possibly a dozen decent size garlic bulbs for just 49 cents! Which is about 25p in the Old Currency. Truly, this is the land of opportunity, and I see an opportunity to make a damn fine curry, a curry fit for the Valkyrie, a curry fit for a man who has not had a tidy one for two months.

Unintentional Humour

Emails from the RPSGB are now ending up in the spam folder of my mail account. How apt.

Still no update from the homeopathy defenders, by the way.

Lions 2009?

Any of the usual suspects fancy it? Let me know and I'll start selling myself on trademe...

Anti-Science.

In the USA, which is a country that I love, there is a strong creationist movement. These people are deluded. Nothing this crazy could happen in the UK. Not in the land of tea and cricket on the village green, and Dylan Thomas. Not from the country that produced Newton, and Faraday, and Darwin, and Hooke. Such a nation, with such a rich scientific heritage would never embrace superstition, witchcraft or good old quackery.

Unfortunately, that's not the case.

Homeopathy, kind of like a virulent parasitic organism, has infested pharmacy back in the UK. However, pharmacy does not seem too bothered about this. And there was me thinking that pharmacy was based on science! How stupid I must be!

This a link to Boots whoring itself out to a homeopath http://www.eveshamjournal.co.uk/news/ejnewslatest/display.var.2325387.0.homeopathy_in_action.php

I would love to see how homeopathy can help with heart disease, depression and diabetes. Perhaps I should ask someone in Boots about it. Of course, what is more depressing is that the current president of the RPSGB, Mr Steve Churton is "Head of Professional Practice, Boots, UK". Interestingly, his spouse is also emplyed by Boots. Now, call me Mr. Stupid, but I was not aware that "Professional Practice" included the promotion of homeopathy. However, Mr Churton is a figurehead of pharmacy, so I am sure he knows what he talking about.

However, it does make you wonder how large the malign influence of Boots and their promotion of pharmacy is.

This is an email I received from the Fitness to Practice and Legal Affairs Directorate of the RPSGB recently

Further to your e-mails dated 8th May and 8th June 2008, I can provide you with the following information.
The Society has not made any overarching statements about the place of homoeopathy in healthcare. (My colleague has provided a link to previous statements that the Society has made about homoeopathy, www.rpsgb.org/pdfs/scifactsheethomoeo.pdf ).
The Society has issued guidance (in the form of Standards forming part of the Code of Ethics www.rpsgb.org/pdfs/coepsgssmeds.pdf ) to assist pharmacists on the ethical aspects of selling or supplying complementary medicines. Ethical issues can be, and often are, grey areas rather than black or white.

These Standards do not make reference to the pharmacist needing to ensure the efficacy of the complementary medicines before selling or supplying them. The prime concern of all pharmacists must be for the well-being and safety of patients. Hence the Standards require that the pharmacist ensures that they: “recommend a remedy only where you can be satisfied of its safety and quality, taking into account the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency registration schemes for homoeopathic and herbal remedies.”. The absence of the word “efficacy” in the Standards does not signify that efficacy is not important. However, it is the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) that is the licensing government regulatory body for medicines in the UK, and via its various licensing schemes (Product Licences of Right and Registration schemes) decides whether medicines are safe or not and whether certain products can be lawfully supplied or not. The MHRA allows various licensed and registered homoeopathic medicines to be lawfully sold and supplied in the UK .


Considering that I asked them whether or not the RPSGB thinks that homeopathy is an effective treatment, one could say that the "Ethical issues" bit, is a bit of a smokescreen. After all, the science is out there for all to see-homeopathy is nothing more than an expensive placebo. It is not like I asked the RPSGB for their position on abortion, or euthanasia.

I wonder if this reluctance to look at things in a scientific fashion has anything to do with the appointment of a Boots pharmacist as President. Boots push this kind of alternative/complementary/homeopathic crap a lot, and having their own man in a position to quash dissent must be very appealing.

So there we have it, the offical position of the RPSGB is that science is not worth a jot, and it does not matter if things work or not, so long as the customer gets what they want.

Then and Now.

Things I Miss About My Old Job

1) "No, I don't fancy working today, I'm going to the match/the bank/do absolutely nothing/play Pro Evo all day/cook/going on holiday/going to the pub. Give us a ring tomorrow if there's anything going.

2) The money.

Things I Don't Miss About My Old Job

3-240,000,000) Everything else.

That Thing, You Can Only Say What It Is In French.

I carry around a BNF with me like it is my shield and my succour against the Forces Of Evil, I have only the vaguest idea of what I'm doing and I'm chatting up a student nurse. Badly. It's fucking 2005 all over again, only this time I'm addicted to Madden, instead of Pro Evo.

Like Roland in the Dark Tower, I'm chasing the unattainable, before returning to the beginning again, each time learning a little more. I only need to do this another 19 times then I will be free.*


*This is one interpretation. My personal feeling is that most of the last three books of the series were one massive clusterfuck after another, redeemed only partially by the very ending.

Bonus Bank Holiday!!

Apart from the excellent beer, the excellent trees, the excellent mountains, the excellent lakes, and the excellent beaches, living in The Colonies does have some advantages. Such as tomorrow, when we get an extra bonus bank holiday for the Queen's Birthday!

Kiwi Chick : "You mean you don't have that in England?"

Hot Pharmacist (me) : "Ha ha ha, do we heck!" (Mental Note: I AM NOT ENGLISH!!!!111)

Kiwi Chick: "Oh right. Sweet. Did I tell you about my paddock?"

Hurrah for the Monarchy!

Slightly morose.

Things have been getting me down this week, a bit. Partially due to the lack of wheels (which will have to wait til I get paid again), partially due to the crap public transport down here, partially due to missing things and stuff and a bit of fluff at home. But, perhaps most of all due to living with people who have no life outside of World of Warcraft.

Thing is, it looked a very promising house at first, a hundred yards from work, fifty yards from the chip shop, two hundred yards from the Liquor Store. All bills, and interweb, included in the rent as well. No mention was made of World of Warcraft at all. To be honest though, I'm just too damn lazy to look for somewhere else, dismantle my bed, and move everything again. So I'll probably stick it out, and it will probably get better.

The other thing is that working with all women, while it has its advantages (which I can't recall right now) can make for a rather bitchy atmosphere, which pisses me off no end. Also, I know I'm not as good at my job as I should be, which is worrying. A weekend of revision awaits I think. Well, apart from the Super 14 semis. And while we're at it, just what is the purpose of the ELVs?

In other news, I bought Madden 06 for the PC yesterday, and promptly made Green Bay lose to the Sea Devils. I played Madden obsessively for six months on the Wii, and it's a lot harder with a "proper" control pad.

In other, more serious news, hospitals over here seem much better than hospitals over there (admittedly based on a sample size of n=1 for both countries). Here, there is a lot more space per patient bed, there's six nurses covering thirty beds (as opposed to three covering thirty back home), everything is a lot less stressed. And cleaner. There just seems to be adequate staffing full stop down here, which is not always something I could say about back home.

Further Proof That Boots Are The Republican Party Of Pharmacy.

http://www.allianceboots.com/main.asp?nid=108&pid=1607

Boots buy centre for "alternative medicine". Boots uses influence to decide that alternative medicine is a good thing. The Centre for the Study of Woo decides that Woo treatments are good. Because people are idiots, and Woo is natural (like dogshit), sales of Woo go up.

Pharmacists hit the bottle, former presidents of the RPSGB who are too thick to understand how science works will be delighted.

Falling in love.

The bass player from JJ72. Perfection.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=30gCHfzlxfc&feature=related

Caffeine in pain management?

Anyone know anything about this? All I could find, during a brief search today was mention of it's use to counteract the effect of opioids. Anyone got any experience with it?

Words fail me*

http://www.chemistanddruggist.co.uk/c/portal/layout?p_l_id=259751&CMPI_SHARED_articleId=653367&CMPI_SHARED_ImageArticleId=653367&CMPI_SHARED_articleIdRelated=653367&CMPI_SHARED_ToolsArticleId=653367&CMPI_SHARED_CommentArticleId=653367

*Of no interest to anyone not in the tablet-counting business.

Beers of New Zealand

1) Speight's Distinction. Darkish, quite bitter, really nice. Bit nutty. In my limited experience of New Zealand pubs, you can't seem to get a "normal" pint of bitter, they've all got a bit of fizz to him. It's different, but it's pretty good.

2) Speight's. Sipping beer, good for an all-dayer, like Grand Slam Day 2009. Well, maybe. Bonus sports related trivia questions under the bottle cap!

3) Tui. Exactly the same as Speight's, except the bonus sports related trivia questions are harder to read. Good stuff.

4) Steinlager. Drunk this on the plane, not impressed.

240,000,000) Waikato. Described by the guy who put my bed up as a drink for Bogans, and I tend to agree. Horrible, shitty, bog-standard Carlingesque crap.

That's pretty much all the beer I've tried here. Does anyone have any other suggestions?

TheWelshPharmacist-pining for a pint of SA Gold since 25/04/2008

Two nations, four languages

What the hell is toast bread, and how is it different from normal bread that gets toasted?

You have a paddock, I have a field.

Chips are crisps, unless they're chips, in which case they're hot chips.

You have gumboots, I have wellies.

You do vacuuming, I do hoovering.

You have good quality beer, we poison our natives with Carling.

Quack Quack Quack!

The Quack never bothered to get round to any of the emails I sent her asking her what the justification for her selling overpriced lactose pills was.

The Quack was also a former President of the Pharmaceutical Society of Great Britain.

Do we get the leaders we deserve? Is this why no-one take pharmacists seriously?

If anyone has any reason why I should not label Christine Glover a Quack, I'd like to hear them.

Go here for a whole lot of shite http://www.glovers-health.co.uk/

Why I Escaped Retail

This American chap (I assume) has written one of the best pieces of literature I have ever seen. Anyone who has worked in retail will be familiar. The reason I escaped was because I was fed up of being treated like shit by a bunch of thick arseholes.

Read this now: http://www.theangrypharmacist.com/archives/2008/05/friday_start_of_the_month_very.html#comments

My Secret Obession

Yet another Brett Favre update, courtesy of The Onion this time

GREEN BAY, WI—The Green Bay Packers addressed questions concerning the current status, future plans, and whereabouts of recently retired quarterback Brett Favre by announcing Monday that they had sent him to the country to live on a beautiful farm with a very nice family.


"We know you loved Brett Favre, but he wasn't happy here. He couldn't stay here," Packers general manager Ted Thompson told hundreds of quiet but tear-streaked Packer fans assembled at the televised Lambeau Field press conference. "And he loved you, too—he loved you very much indeed—but he needed to go someplace where he could run and jump and throw his favorite football around. And he couldn't do that here anymore."

More here: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/packers_tell_fans_they_gave_favre

Winter Is Coming*

People of New Zealand. If the temperature outside is 20C, the sun is shining and everyone is walking around in shorts, then it is NOT FUCKING WINTER!

Thank you.

*Bonus points if anyone gets the nerdy reference.

FA Cup Final!

Still the most important football match of the year, whatever Sky may tell you. Well, unless it's between Manure and Chelski, in which case, fuck 'em.

HOWEVER, this year's cup final has two teams who, collectively, have not been to a cup final for 240,000,000 years. So, it should be a bit more exciting. And there's the chance to tweak the nose of the English again. Here's a proper crap traditional cup final song http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lApivPlPhkg.

Could have done without the reference to that shitbag Ridsdale though.

Where's my bloody Journal got to?

£395 for a weekly comic, and it hasn't turned up yet. Although I would expect nothing less from a "governing body" that allows homeopathy to exist, unchallenged.

Pharmacy in the colonies.

Based on a whole five days experience, a lot of which was taken up with explaining where the toilets are, and where I hang my coat, I can safely say that pharmacy in Aotearoa is 240,000,000 times better than it is in the shitpit that is the Rhondda.

Down here, as I understand it, there is this strange and mysterious beast known as the PHARMAC committee that evaluate each drug on the basis of price and usefulness, and then decides if it is "allowed" to be prescribed. So, for example, the only ACE inhibitors here are cilazapril or quinalapril, neither of which are used to any great degree at home, where there are several hundred ACE inhibitors. Also, there's none of this " I WANT LOSEC!!1111I'M ALLERGIC TO OMEPRAZOLE111!!!1" shit here, you get what's subsidised by the government, and lump it. So far, I think it's a good system.

Every pharmacist I've met has said to me
"So you worked in retail did you?"
Me: "Aye, two years"(not wishing to say anything controversial, on account of being a new chap)
"It's shit, isn't it"
Me: "FUCK AYE, it's like scrubbing my scrotum with sandpaper."

So that's good. So far, so good. It's very quiet though, dispensary wise, so a lot of afternoons are spent warding, scratching, gossiping, or compiling a list of TOP 5 WOMEN/MEN YOU WOULD HAVE IF YOU WERE GAY. Sweet.

Observations From Home.

Wales training squad:
Backs: Morgan Stoddart, Lee Byrne, Jamie Roberts, Shane Williams, Tom James, Sonny Parker, Tom Shanklin, Stephen Jones, James Hook, Andy Williams, Warren Fury.


Forwards: Duncan Jones, Gethin Jenkins, Rhys Thomas, Adam Jones, Matthew Rees, Huw Bennett, Ian Gough, Alun Wyn Jones, Ian Evans, Jonathan Thomas, Martyn Williams, Alix Popham, Ryan Jones.

Who is Warren Fury? (Fantastic name though).

Sonny Parker. Hurrah!

Two tests against South Africa. I wonder if they'll be on New Zealand telly?

New Zealand Observations (2)

1) Rugby rugby rugby Carter Carter Carter Carter Carter

2) Netball, far from being a sport solely played by schoolgirls is MASSIVE here. It's on TV and everything. I think this is a bit... odd, but haven't said anything yet in case I get yelled at.

3) Watching TV news is a bit like watching an extended Wales Today, in terms of the sheer 'localness' of it all.

4) All the trees look like something out of prehistoric times.

5) It's bloody beautiful.

6) I might have a ticket to see New Zealand play England in June, thanks to a nice girl who has a rather unhealthy obsession with Nick Evans ("He's the back up first five, you know?". "Er, you mean fly-half?")

New Zealand Observations

1) Buying a phone is tricky. I went into the shop, naively assuming that phones came with SIM cards. Not so. You have to buy a separate SIM card. I have been to five shops so far, and they are all out of SIM cards. Is there a great telecommunications crisis in this country that I am unaware of?

2) Shortland Street (crappy daytime program that used to be on at the same time as Neighbours) is MASSIVE here.

3) It is really, really hot and really, really humid. This makes me really, really uncomfortable.

4) Petrol prices hitting $2 a litre is front page news here. This made me giggle, compared to prices back home.

5) Los Angeles is a fucking shitpit that I am never setting foot in again.

VISA!

Finally got my visa for New Zealand after a long and protracted battle that made the Wars of the Roses seem like a genteel game of cricket on the village green. Unfortunately, I've off on what promises to be a rather rambunctious stag weekend thingy in Poland this weekend, so if I lose my passport, I'm buggered. I'm thinking about sewing it under my skin, like that sadistic bloke in The Invisibles who kept razor blades under his skin...

Anyway, it should be a good weekend, and no doubt gallons of beer shall be drunk by all.

Also, the new Wisden is out, and everyone should go and buy it. I haven't had the chance to do more than scan through it, but there's a fair amount on Bradman, which is always interesting to read about. 99.94. Incredible. Surely the most dominant sportsman of any sport, anywhere, anytime.

Fuck the Welsh...

...Assembly.

Because those cunts are directly responsible for this exchange I had today.

"WHY SHOULD I PAY FOR MY INHALER WHEN IT'S FREE?"

Let's think about that for a moment.

Serevent inhalers cost about £30 a pop. The packaging costs money. The raw materials cost money. The plastic the inhaler is made out of costs money. The factory it was made in has heating and lighting bills to pay. The poor sod of a doctor who had to speak to you and prescribe for you does not work out of the goodness of his heart. Neither do I.

Funny how it doesn't become an emergency when I tell you the trade price, isn't it?

Nine hours left.

Nine hours left in the retail grindhouse (5.30 finish today, 9-5.30 tomorrow). Unless me and the New Zealand visa people have another falling-out, that will be it.

I can't wait.

Off to Hay-on-Wye for the weekend, to look at books.

Also, best luck to Portsmouth (Hi, Stu!) and Cardiff in the cup this weekend.

Also, FUCK OFF MK DONS!

Crimes Against Humanity

Fake Plastic Team 2

Grimsby 0

There is no more depressing sight in football than seeing MK Dons win. This abortion of a team are a fake, a charade, a tacky abomination.

http://www.afcwimbledon.co.uk/

The Quack's Back!!

Well, fuck me sideways, the Quack has got a nice new shiny website. She still hasn't got round to answering my question though.

Let's have a look.

"Christine Glover is a very well known pharmacist with
homeopathic training offering an holistic integrated approach to healthcare. She
neither rejects conventional medicine nor accepts alternative medicine
uncritically. She believes that emotional happiness is a fundamental part of
physical health for an all round sense of balanced wellbeing."

Firstly, I think it's fair to say that "very well known pharmacist" is a bit of an oxymoron. I'd never heard of her until a couple of months ago, and would frankly struggle to name any pharmacists. Well, apart from people I was in university with, which doesn't really count. Physicists, we are not. Also, I am not sure what an all round sense of balanced wellbeing is. I guess it has something to do with not wafting at balls pitched outside off stump. Or not.

But wait! There's more! The Quack has managed to write a second paragraph. Fuck me, if only I had homeopathic training! I could also write two paragraphs!

"Christine Glover worked for fifteen years in her own community pharmacy in the
West End of Edinburgh, with a wide range of clientele ranging from bishops to
drug addicts. Since then she has spent the past seven years focusing on an
holistic approach to health issues through homeopathy. She was President of the Royal Pharmaceutical Society of
Great Britain from 1998 to 2001."

Well whoop-de-fucking woo. I also slog through the retail trenches, although I would bet my right elbow that I see a lot more drug addicts than any fucking quack. This is why:

HOMEOPATHY DOES NOT WORK. IT IS A CUNT'S TRICK, FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF RIPPING OFF THE GULLIBLE AND DESPERATE AND STUPID. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU HAVE A SCIENTIFIC DEGREE AND BELIEVE THAT A FUCKING MAGIC WATER POTION WILL CURE CANCER? ARE YOU THAT FUCKING BRAIN-DEAD OR DO YOU JUST HAVE NO FUCKING MORALS WHATSO-FUCKING-EVER?

Oddly enough, all the drug addicts I see are treated with evidence-based medicine. Also, drug addicts are, in the main, poor. Poor people cannot afford homeopathic "consultations".

Also, how the fuck the Royal Pharmaceutical Society of Great Britain can continue to let this woman peddle her crap while still being a practicing pharmacist, and proudly advertising herself as a former President of the Society is beyond me. How the flying fuck a known homeopath got elected as president is completely beyond me. I blame the voters...

Edit: Point and laugh at the Quack here http://www.glovers-health.co.uk/index.htm